August 12, 2013

Reflection::Reality Check

I've been doing a lot of reflecting the past few days. Mostly on motherhood and really, to be honest, how little I have it together. 

I spent the last week in Indiana with my wonderful mother in law. We were watching my two nieces (ages 2.5 and 1yr.) and Brody. 

We laughed at crazy baby bedhead and picked out sweet little girl outfits. We had a lot of chalk-filled, sunny days. 

Amidst the chaos of three babies, I lost my patience. I used the phrase "because I said so", I said "NO" a lot and I dreamt of my own bed. 

I demanded a lot out of my nieces and I doubt they will call me the "fun aunt". There was a lot of "Stop whining right now" and "You need to be gentle to the baby". 

 And in the end, I walked away knowing I truly do NOT have it together. It is humbling. It is humbling to know that I will not always do the right thing. I will have to apologize to my babies. 

A lot.

Here is Brody's "Good try, Mom. Better luck next time!" face...
He had just attempted to swipe his cousin's sprinkle donut...she was too quick.

Reflection like this is freeing. It is freeing to know that no one has it together and there is grace. It is good to get a reality check every once in a while. This parenting thing will be tough.

Reflection allows me to admit my shortcomings and know that this journey of parenthood is truly a journey.

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