I had the opportunity to have two days baby-free. I went to tea with some of my girlfriends yesterday and they lovingly talked me into saying yes. So, I said "Yes". I told Travis that he could take Brody. He was shocked and super excited.
That night I went grocery shopping to get Brody some food and some formula to supplement because I didn't have enough milk stored up. Then the doubts started flooding in...
After going shopping and pulling into the driveway, I freaked out. I walked in and gave Travis "the look". He knew. He said "Let's talk--tell me what you're feeling". Tears. Tears came pouring out and I just sat there. I didn't really know what I was feeling. I told him I was nervous that I'd be sad the whole time. Is that just ridiculous??
I gave him excuse after excuse. "If I had enough milk...", "If I didn't have to sleep alone one night...", "I'm worried about his schedule...", "I don't feel like I NEED two days away from him"... etc.
I even said "What if you both die in a plane crash and I'm left with no one?!"
He told me they were just excuses. He was right. But in the end, I just told him that I wasn't ready.
And do you know what he said?
I said "Wait? You knew I'd change my mind?"
"I'm sorry. Do you forgive me?"
"You didn't do anything wrong."
Travis, you're the best.
I know that Brody would have had a blast and been well taken care of. I just wasn't ready to give him up.
Next time, I'll try my best to let go. I mean, really though--look at this face...
Call it what you will--you're probably thinking that I'm crazy for not taking up the opportunity to have two days to myself. And, maybe I am just that--crazy!
Am I just nuts?? Have you gone through something like this? How did you let go?
(Photos were taken on our Indiana trip when Brody tried the swing for the first time!)