Now, I apologize in advance if this is a rambling of sorts. I just finished a strong cup of coffee:)
I have been thinking this week about how my emotions as a mom can be like a roller coaster. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore my son and being his mom. I would not want it any other way. I just wish that I could keep my emotions and thoughts more even-keeled.
One day it feels like I am on cloud nine--he naps great, he is super smiley and snugly, I get rest and I feel accomplished. I think "How can people not want to be be home with their kids all day"? The next day I can't imagine having any more kids!! I think "Nope, single child it is!" The next day I want to be pregnant again and on our way to having a big family. The following day I think that we are just going to jump straight to adoption instead of having any more biological children first because, Lord, I don't want to push another human being out of me(and deal with that horrible recovery!)! Then I look at Brody sleeping, so peaceful, and I want to start decorating the next Nursery...
Seven days of the week--it could change every hour, really. On and on it goes...I'm a mess--please tell me you can relate.
But then I think about why my feelings seem like such a roller coaster. Well, that's life. There are highs and lows, ups and downs. It really stems from where I am trying to find my joy. Am I going throughout my day being joyful? Or am I just being so selfish as to not see the big picture? This life isn't about me. It isn't about my comfort and happiness. In fact, it is FAR from that. This life is about bringing glory to Him. My joy, happiness and day to day life are a reflection of His plan--To bring glory to Himself through the people who love Him.
That is the big picture.
So, how can I then be less of a roller coaster wreck? By training myself to see the big picture. We, of course, will still have ups and downs. That is inevitable and we are told this. However, not only should the ups bring Him glory--but the downs as well. There will be days(lots) where I feel like crying out "I can't do this and I'm struggling"! On those days, the people who surround me and pick me up are doing exactly that--bringing Him glory. The way that I respond to Broderick in those difficult times will, hopefully, be an example to not only him but the people we do life with. And when my response isn't exactly what I would want it to be, there is grace.
And if parenting doesn't teach you to appreciate grace, I'm not sure what will.
|We are so thankful for our friend Eddie who takes our photos!|
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